The Seven Principles For Making a Marriage Work :: essays research papers

The Seven Principles For Making a Marriage Work   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  In The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work there are seven myths and seven real truths about marriage. The first myth is that neuroses or personality problems will ruin a marriage. The truth about that myth is that we all have our crazy buttons or issues we’re not totally rational about, but they don't necessarily interfere with marriage. The key to a happy marriage isn't having a "normal" personality, but finding someone with whom you get along with. The second myth is that common interests keep you together. The truth is that it is a plus to have common interests with someone, but is all depends on how you interact with the other person while pursuing those interests. The third myth is the saying "You scratch my back and .....". The real truth about this myth is that it is only a truly unhappy marriage where this quid pro quo operates, where each partner feels the need to tally up things the other partner did. Married couples should just do things f or one another because it feels positive to them and their spouse. If you keep score in marriage it shows there is an area of tension in your marriage.   Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Another myth that is shown to us in this book would be that avoiding conflict in a relationship will ruin your marriage. The truth about this myth is that couples simply have different styles of conflict. Some avoid fighting with their spouses at all costs, some couples fight a lot, and some can find a compromise with out ever having to raise their voices. No one of these styles is better for the other it's just a matter of which style works for both spouses. The fifth myth that is portrayed is that affairs are the root cause of divorce. The truth is that problems in marriage which send couples on a path to divorce also tends to lead to one or both of the partners resort to an intimate relationship outside of marriage. Eighty percent of divorced men and women said their marriage broke up because they gradually grew apart and lost a sense of closeness, or because they did not feel loved or appreciated. The sixth myth that is talked about is that men are not biologi cally "built" for marriage. The truth is that among humans the frequency of extramarital affairs does not depend on the gender so much as the opportunity.